Bond of friendship


With Lorraine Lusinje:

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.―Elie Wiesel

If one aspires to live life to the fullest, one needs to be selective in terms of behaviours they adopt, the traits they acquire and the people they interact with. One of the inevitable beauties, and sometimes nightmares, of life, is friendship.


Friends play a tangible role in one’s life and the friends one chooses to make and keep need to be friends that add value to life. A friend is a person you talk to often and, depending on level of friendship every day, at times meet often and, depending on proximity, meet every day.

It is, therefore, important to gauge what this person feeds your brain and your life. Is it quality or rubbish? Is it beneficial or diabolical? Do they add value to your life and growth or not?

Bad friendship


There are friends that lead you in all the wrong directions. As long they are around, it is guaranteed that you always end up in trouble or frustrated one way or another. We all have friends that kick us when we are down and they watch in triumph while we lick our wounds like it is the greatest achievement they can attain on earth.

We also have those friends that look at you like an opponent and the friendship a battlefield on which to compete with you. They will consciously or subconsciously compete with you when it comes to looks, career, relationships, status, family—the list is endless.

Then we have those friends that only show up when they need something from you. They hardly bother to check on you or show concern in matters that relate to you but, when they want something from you, they become the most charming creatures until they get what they want.

We also have friends that do not push you in the wrong direction. They do not kick you when you are on the ground. They do not look at you like competition. They do not come to you in time of crisis. They simply do not do anything.

Good friendship

One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.— George Santayana

A friend needs to influence you in the right way. They do not need to compete with you but inspire you to achieve more. They do not have to push you in all the wrong directions but warn you from heading into such directions.

A friend does not “use” a friend for selfish gains. And, when you are on the ground a friend needs to pick you up with humility, help you dust yourself and walk with you the rest of the way.

I have a very good friend who does not mince words.

Since we have been friends for a number of years, I realised she actually inspires me to always check myself before proceeding with something. She is a friend I will always keep because she adds value to my life. I value her advice and heed it. This is the kind of friend you need to hold on to and respect.

Every friend that comes your way has a certain purpose for a short while or a long time.

Ironically, some friends add value to your life by showing you who you would not want to be and what traits you would not want to adopt. Nonetheless, the friends you should choose to keep are those that add a straightforward positive value to your life. Having such friends around adds a refreshing ambience to one’s life.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.—Anais Nin

I rest my case

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