Carpool of idiots


Some Malawians have a curious generosity of displaying their idiocy. This lot has been out recently on social media and some gutter online publications peddling lies that are glaringly silly just like the authors.

Normally, I do not give attention to these online publications because I consider them platforms for odious nosey-parkers who have nothing better to do other than throwing malice at defenceless people. But from the bits and bobs that I have peeped into, it is apparent that the ruling Democratic Progressive Party is out on a crusade to muffle critics as well as divert people’s attention.

What is most interesting to me is the level of ineptitude of these overrated propagandists. Most of them seem dull, basic and tactless. The most basic qualification of a spin doctor is to coat lies in illusory garments of truth. But reading from what has been published by these liars one could tell that the DPP seriously needs to up its game on matters propaganda.


Perhaps, the reason these people are failing to hoodwink the public is that Malawians these days are an informed lot. Apart from some who are still imprisoned by the chains of blind loyalty, archaic tribalism, religious bigotry, political jingoism and revolting regionalism, a good number of people can easily read what is right or wrong and truth or lie these days. That is why even people who thought President Peter Mutharika was Malawi’s saviour are fast accepting the fact that their once-upon-hero is another mistake that has found itself at the state house.

It is such a big ask to defend Peter Mutharika. For those who keep records, Peter has never been cut for any serious leadership role. For the umpteenth time, I will labour to remind people about the mess Peter created and left unattended to at the Ministry of Justice, the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

At the Ministry o Education, this Peter guy presided over the greatest scandal in university education. When colleges were closed close to a year during the academic freedom impasse, Peter nonchalantly looked away and snobbishly played down the crisis. As Minister of Foreign Affairs, his notable contribution was opening ceremonies and nothing else. And on his watch, the Ministry of Justice was busy creating laws that served nothing other than repressing us. But because he is or was his brother’s brother and because the electoral process in this country is skewed Peter stumbled upon the presidency.


Now that his minions have noticed Peter’s glaring governance deficiencies they have resorted to a desperate smear campaign and a ruthless manhunt of imaginary dissidents or perceived critics. But this is not strange here at home or elsewhere. History has it that failed leaders use their iron fist to silence well-meaning citizens who point at the flaws of government. It is not long ago when this very same DPP tortured Malawians and put an evil premium on our freedoms and rights. This is a party that allowed its savages to brandish machetes on July 19 2011 to cower people from demonstrating against the atrocious leadership of the late Bingu wa Mutharika.

This is the very same party that exactly knows why Robert Chasowa was murdered and unabashedly ended up creating suicide notes to veil its gory shenanigans.

What these people refuse to accept in their grizzly brains is that no one can kill an idea. Ideas have been there before Genesis and will be there until apocalypse. Even the creation of the earth was an idea. So if they decide to go on their usual tactic of squeezing lives of critics they will end up lording over dead bodies because almost everyone who is still sane knows that this government is failing to run things. Even avowed disciples of Peter can admit that their boss is struggling to make sense as president. But they cannot say it louder because they know that is taboo in this corner of the earth.

Prices of commodities are somewhere near Mars, poor students are dropping out of university due to exorbitant fees, people are dying of hunger, corruption is flourishing by the day yet someone wants all of us to genuflect in reverence. I have never known anything silly.

And if I look around even those in opposition do not inspire a tinge of confidence in me. The Malawi Congress Party is as tactless as it has been since it was booted out of government in 1994, the People’s Party is busy tearing itself apart while the United Democratic Fronf has sold its soul to the ephemeral romances with the rich but bullish DPP. I will not talk about the other parties.

Now as I said before that this government is busy trying to get rid of its critics, I am told it is busy plotting some things gory and heinous. But what most savages do not know is that they are not immortal. Just like you and I, everyone owes this life a death. It only differs on how you repay the debt. In fact you only have authority of someone’s fate if you have been commissioned by God.

I declined to have my mouth zipped and my brain frozen by some brutes. I refuse the invitation to join this carpool of idiots.

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