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Crazy husbands

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WITH TAYANJAH PHIRI:

Our own ‘Abdul’, the light complexioned lad of the Crew, has sparked the wrath of Vuxy, this other member of the grouping that is only out-paced by ‘Joe being Joe’, in terms of skirt chasing.

Of course, for record purposes, Vuxy is also the new man about town, who is also the latest catch of the Crew. He has been angered because our youthful ‘Abdul’ the scribe, has criticised him for being senseless.

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Of course, many of the Crew, despite that they are not saints, share the views of ‘Abdul’, because Vuxy is too much of a skirt chaser. And, now that he has money from some undisclosed sources, he has gone an extra mile with his misdeeds.

This guy, indeed, wants to outpace anyone in Kabula City in the business of skirt-chasing. He is spending not less than K300, 000 a day on his concubines, and the Crew’s records show he has over three in town and peripherals.

“Abwana mwaonjeza, mukutichititsa manyazi, ndalama ngati zikukuyabwani kaperekeni ku chipatala kapena kwa amasikini mtawunimu; mahule sakutandizani[boss, please if you feel you have too much money in your wallet and account, please give it to the patients admitted to hospitals or the needy, these prostitutes you are dishing money left and right to will not help you!],” ‘Abdul’ sparks the debate and anger of Vuxy.

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The later immediately becomes red with anger. He spits venom at ‘Abdul’, he showers a litany of insults before challenging the accusation.

“Mudziwe kuti chuma chimayenera kusefukira [you should realise that a rich man needs to share what he has], let’s not be selfish, when you have plenty of money, you need to share with others. Some of you are selfish, you just want to eat and chew alone; you don’t even throw rounds when the Crew is meeting. Some of us are generous, indeed we throw around the excess we have,” challenges Vuxy.

With that, he orders three beers for each members of the Crew. And the man of the braai is also thrown into the cash basket by being ordered by our Vuxy to give each member a plate of snacks.

Vuxy also orders the barman to give an extra five bottles to ‘Abdul’, who smiles a million times for the offer but refuses to be dwarfed in his reasoning.

“But Vuxy, why is it that your children are learning in public schools, most of which have children who learn under the trees, while you are paying school fees for your girl-friends’ children at reputable private schools that charge high fees for all learners? Would you say that is being generous? Why are your children walking every day to school, yet you are paying heavily in taxi charges for the children of your lovers; children that don’t even have a drop of your blood in their systems and your DNAs are a million kilometers apart? Is that wise, siuchitsiru umenewo?” he challenges.

‘Atsogoleri’ Rob M joins the discussion. He throws in a battalion of adjectives, describing the stupidity of the acts of Vuxy. He schools him that a man’s priority should be his biological children and not the needs of a concubine.

“Amuna opusa otere ndi ambiri, akuyenera kusintha. Mowa tikamamwa, osamayiwala ana, osamasangalatsa zibwenzi!” he exclaims.

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