“Marshal, I need your phone number, some people are looking for you dead or alive” went an urgent-marked mail from Grace Thipa, my editor. The relaxed tone in her language meant one thing; there was nothing to worry about.
I was scrawling a reply when my phone rang. “Is this Marshal”. I said sure it was. “Sobhuza Ngwenya from FDH”. Now I knew why Grace had requested my number earlier.
He told me that Google Maps had misled him to all manner of places in a frantic attempt to find me. He told me that he found my number on the internet. Since when did the internet become loose ‘lips’ that sink ships?
When he finally emerged, Sobhuza’s face betrayed him; the man was animated. He came to inform me that the top brass at FDH was very pleased with my article, “FDH Mobile is magical”. Just in case you had thought that FDH had oil-palmed me to do that piece, there you are; the evidence of proof that it was not so.
It turns out that FDH Mobile is not only magical but revolutionary as well. Let me decorate that argument with premises. FDH Mobile is not only available on local networks where a shortcode is required; it is also available as an app downloadable on the Apple Store. With the app, you can access your account from any corner of the world. Which other bank in Malawi has an app on the Apple Store?
With FDH Mobile, both Airtel Money and TNM Mpamba agents can make e-value direct purchases. FDH customers can also link their accounts directly with their Airtel Money wallets and pull and push money.
When you send an electronic wallet to another mobile number, FDH mobile straight-away registers that number without any further interventions from you. The recipient can use the e-wallet to buy airtime or pay for bills. With no account with FDH, the e-wallet beneficiary can cause the FDH ATM vomit money.
The new beneficiary can yet again transfer money to another number and immediately create an FDH wallet for that number. That is what we call exponential growth in science! And in no time, FDH wallets will replicate and subdue Malawi.
If you have a FDH ATM card, you need not visit the bank to register for FDH mobile. Dial *525# from your mobile and follow the instructions.
For those who may find themselves issuing fat cheques to concubines under duress during this festive season, they need not commit suicide; the cheques can be stopped either by amount or number on FDH mobile. Yes, you can do that on a Sunday when the bank is closed!
Thanks you FDH Bank for the beautiful umbrella. Who told you that my car was in the garage and that more than anything, I needed one? Thank you Dr. Thom Mpinganjira for the good Christmas tidings. And to the MD, the Christmas card is beautiful, thank you.
What shall we say about these things? Doing Computer CrossTalk is my habit; it is a ministry, I call it computer evangelism. If I can make a soul smile and love computers, I consider my work done.
On a lighter note; FDH’s ad for this product depicts a person destroying ATM cards from other banks with a pair of scissors, the urge to do the same is disturbing me right now!
To all esteemed followers of this column, I wish you a blessed Christmas. Don’t drink, it is all about Christ Jesus!
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