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Joseph Kamwendo’s light moment

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Those who are taking the issue of Be Forward Wanderers midfield maestro, Joseph Kamwendo, seriously, do not know the Joseph Kamwendo they should take seriously.

Yes, do not look me in the eye! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! [Each ha! Represents a tribe of Israel; just to remind you] You see, the Joseph Kamwendo who turns Fischer Kondowe left and right on the pitch is not the Joseph Kamwendo who, when the spirit of adventure is on him, sits on a red brick along the road to Angelogoveya— that part of Limbe ‘angels’ sought refuge in before human beings ‘colonised’ the area.

You see, there is a man we call ‘Amfumu’ in Limbe; a man who ‘owns’ the piece of land minibuses and past-their-prime vehicles that ply the Manje Road ‘load’ passengers at. This Amfumu fella is a Wanderers fan of sorts; I mean, he is not like the other people who identify themselves with Wanderers. Amfumu is what I would call a ‘supporter’, for he, almost every week, invites a Wanderers’ player or official for a ‘party’.

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His party comprises roast meat and some things I may not be too busy to mention.

Sometimes, one finds the head of a goat at the ‘party’. All of it.

I once, two months ago, found Kamwendo skinning the head of a goat while Amfumu and four other people were busy dancing to Black Missionaries’ songs. You see, there is something between Amfumu and Black Missionaries which Black Missionaries does not know.

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Amfumu always plays Black Missionary songs in his black vehicle which, for whatever reason, has its doors open whenever it is static. And, courtesy of Amfumu, Joseph Kamwendo has been ‘forced’ to be listening to Black Missionaries’ songs whenever he is with Amfumu in Limbe— outside the brick fence of this other house which has a notice outside: Plot for sale!

Under that notice is yet another message: “This house is for sale”.

How can a plot be, at the same time, a house and both be in the same space? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Anyway, I saw Kamwendo with Amfumu at this spot days after Mighty Be Forward Wanderers won the Super League title in the 2017 Super League season. And, maybe because Joseph Kamwendo was in high spirits, he was greeting everyone who was passing by.

“Mtendere! Mtendere! Mtendere! [peace]” Joseph Kamwendo could say to everyone.

When I happened to pass by, he said: “Mtendere”.

I said, “No. Give me a handshake”.

To which Joseph Kamwendo said: “Sure, ugwiraneko ndi madala!”

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Kamwendo then gave me a piece of the meat they were roasting. A real philanthropist, I must say. At his best, Kamwendo is selfless.

Kagwire [take this piece]”, he said, as he extended his hand to give me the piece.

I said: “Another one”.

Kakukwana kameneko! [That will be enough for you]”, he said, as we both laughed.

Not that Joseph Kamwendo knows me. He does not. But the fella is a free spirit.

I proceeded on my way.

Outside the pitch, Joseph Kamwendo is always making light comments that should, surely, not be taken seriously.

Touch not the philanthropist! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

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