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Khuza Rampi’s respite

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If ome people had their way, they would not want some old sayings to be fulfilled on their persons.

I mean, whoever came up with some of the sayings we cling to might have been high on something— whether legal or illegal is neither here nor there.

You see, human beings— I mean, you and me— are sometimes gullible, as we tend to believe in whatever is said to have originated in the past. We do not care to imagine the state of mind those who coined some of the sayings we hold highly and dearly were in.

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Some might have been wife-beaters! Some might have been defilers! Some rapists! Some might have been thieves, stealing maize from other people’s gardens. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Which brings me to a comment one man in the legal fraternity made one day. He wondered, aloud, why the media in Malawi seem to have faith, firm faith, in some of the political scientists we tout in the country.

“You see, I always laugh when I come across comments made by some of the so-called analysts. Journalists seem to take their opinions for gospel truth, treating them with care, as if they were a chicken’s egg.

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“But, then, what if the analyst was speaking while drunk? What if the analyst had picked a quarrel with their partner, wife or husband, when the journalist was phoning them?”

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Anyway, that is besides the point. The issue here is about some sayings we cling to.

Take, for instance, the saying mneneri amapeputsidwa kwawo [a prophet is not respected in their homeland]. We never know, maybe the one who coined it was a male who was being rebuffed by female folks and, in giving up, came up with these words. And now we take a frustrated bachelor’s words seriously. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Okay, maybe the one who came up with these words was a spinster who, tired of being single in a world where time travels faster than hope, tried to part ways with those who knew her – but took her for granted– by blaming them [the people] and not herself. It is possible. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Whatever the case, the cap of mneneri amapeputsidwa kwawo recently fitted Khuza Rampi— one of the country’s musicians, who has even served in the executive of the Musicians Union of Malawi, formerly Musicians Association of Malawi; he also vied for a position in Copyright Society of Malawi board recently, although he was not as successful as he wished.

This month, Rampi— who late last year launched Njoka Saweta album and invited Black Missionaries to curtain-raise— yes, Black Missionaries as curtain-raisers for Rampi. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! The man must be influential— decided to leave Malawi, our motherland, for a while.

Well, Khuza Rampi, in his wisdom, decided to trek to Mozambique. Whatever he was doing there is his business.

But, then, he decided to post a message on Facebook, to the effect that [or something like that]: “At least I feel at home here in Mozambique, where I am more respected than in Malawi”.

There!

I hope he stays put in Mozambique, until the people there get so much used to him that they start dis-honouring [if there is such a word] him. Malawians will have forgotten him by then, and start respecting him— since it will be like he is the son of Mozambique and Malawians are looking at him from afar.

Yes, why should he come back to Malawi now and be respected, especially when memories of him are still fresh?

So, Rampi, enjoy the limelight in Mozambique and stay there. Let familiarity [which the people of Mozambique will cultivate when they see you today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and the tomorrow after the tomorrow of tomorrow. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!] with you in Mozambique bring contempt before you come back home.

Just don’t marry another wife in Mozambique. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

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