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Mr Malawi’s breather

Maybe this moment did not feature in any of Mr Malawi Snowden Tembo’s dreams.

I mean, it does not often happen that an individual who makes fun of life’s absurdities in vernacular language can land gold in a land that speaks an entirely different language.

Especially when, once in this journey of little puffs of air we call life, the presidential mimicker we revere contemplated making a foray into farming. Yes, farming!

Fishing was out of the question because that [fishing] could mean standing on the banks of the mighty Shire River and throwing a hook in the moving waters. A risky adventure in a river infested with crocodiles.

More so because, over the long years, crocodiles have maimed, killed and humiliated our friends in the Shire Valley – normal residents in that part of the world have come to loathe the term Lower Shire; for it has dawned on them, after all these years, that the term Lower Shire depicts them as people who are backward in thinking.

Had Mr Malawi taken that route [of fishing and, therefore, direct confrontation with the crocodiles of the Shire River], maybe he would have one toe missing! We can never know, maybe a toe is a snack to the Shire River crocodiles! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Happy we! Mr Malawi did not take to fishing.

Farming? Of course, he did a little bit of it. But that was not to be his area of expertise. Especially after he left the Shire Valley for Bangwe in Blantyre in the early 2000s. Especially after, by chance, he met other presidential mimickers Atcheya, Aunt Geti.

And now we have Mr Malawi. He brings the late Bingu wa Mutharika to life. He does so through word of the mouth. Surely, the mouth can build. Destroy. Bring the dead to life. Courtesy of the tongue, of course.

Anyway, it seems that Mr Malawi’s tongue has a magic that captivates the world within and without Malawi. For, in this comment, South Africa beckons Mr Malawi.

Which comes as good news, relief almost, for someone who would have brushed shoulders with cotton seeds and nkholokolo fish of the Shire River.

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