Mr President, a trophy awaits in Minneapolis; bring it home!


Arguably the most underdeveloped nation in the world, Malawi suffers greatly in essentially all categories available.

“Malawi’s world lowest GDP [gross domestic product] per capita of $226.50 doesn’t seem like it will be rising too significantly any time soon,” http://gazettereview. com/2016/06/top-10-poorest-countries-world/.

This is the damning economic status and outlook that the Gazette Review, a media company in Minneapolis, USA, delivered when conferring the ‘medal of shame’, as the undisputed home of idiots with the audacity to rank first on the “Top 10 Poorest Countries in the World – 2016 List”, to Malawi.


The full list, based on GDP per capita (purchasing power of all goods and services produced in a country divided by its population), comprises some countries that have been or are still grappling with civil strife and others – like Malawi – which are resource rich but have leaders with cronies whose personal wealth dwarfs their countries’ coffers.

Following Malawi on the ‘list of shame’ are Burundi then the Central African Republic, Niger, Liberia, Madagascar, Democratic Republic of Congo, the Gambia, Ethiopia and Guinea; in that order.

Blue Orators, while it is agonising to see the Flames – our national football team – now labelled perennial underdogs, coming first in a contest of the poorest, when we have never been at war, beats everything.


It is the lowest of the low, the mother of all disgraces and an insult to generations of Malawians who died liberating Malawi. I dare say that both pre-and post-independence martyrs are turning in their graveyards.

Look at us. We have proved to be the most churlish people on earth and hence the list ought to be aptly retitled “Top 10 irresponsible countries in the World – 2016 List”.

Because for one thing, leading on that list – whatever excuses you may want to concoct –tells the world that: never mind what Malawians claim they are, fact is they are all idiots that do not give a gram of shit about their present poverty and for generations to come.

Without necessarily asking everyone to become their brother’s keeper, we all should know that an entity is only as strong as its weakest point. This is also true for Malawi.

Now, when the majority are struggling, we should resign to the fact that we will be on this scandalous position forever, unless a revolution changes several dynamics and redirect sour resources to sustainable development that sees no tribe, no political affiliation and where equity rules.

Look at this: when you examine the fabric of society in Malawi, amidst the rampant poverty; when you happen to be on the ruling side, getting rich depends on how corrupt you dare to be.

If you are slightly corrupt, you accumulate slight wealth, and if you are very corrupt, you accumulate baffling wealth. And what is more, you actually accumulate treasures without paying a cent in taxes!

Just to show that the rot in the political sphere is endemic, religion and our civil society, ironically, are likewise casualties. Examples are abundant of ‘Miracle Money’ men of Gold and filthy-rich non-governmental organisation ‘operators’.

All this, however, is nothing.

What our recent gold medal explains is not the fact that we have rotten leaders in all spheres of life but that even those who should know better invest a lot in sustaining and pampering these selfish villains.

In our poverty, we have truckloads of people who think that the way out of their personal poverty is hero-worshipping the very people responsible for making Malawi the poorest state on earth.

Reading this, some can argue that it is not just about the political leadership; one can make a difference even with the most rotten leader presiding over Malawi.

This thinking, Blue Orators, is not only naïve; it is silly.

Look at it this way, whatever you earn is taxed. Whatever you buy, has taxes included. When you travel, the cost is burdened with taxes. These taxes are supposed to be used equitably to develop the country.

What actually happens?

All these Cashgate reports you read about mean that the resources we pool together via taxes are consumed by few. The result is: the poor get poorer and down goes our GDP.

Who can change this? Who passes our laws? And who can appoint and confirm an effective Director General of the Anti- Corruption Bureau? It is the so-called politicians, i.e., the president, cabinet and members of Parliament.

It follows, therefore, that if we are to move from this position of dishonour, we should rethink our leadership, force them to change or replace them. Full stop.

When electing the people to manage our resources, the ‘wakuba yemweyo’ syndrome that led us astray in 1994 and is now our unwritten tenet when electing heads of state should go.

Past criminal conviction, ongoing criminal prosecutions and even the penchant for grabbing national assets for a song deemed excel lent presidential attributes by us, the voters, are why we are today the number one suckers in the world.

To prove my point, digest this: when poverty hits us mercilessly, when hospitals operate without basic supplies and equipment, when electricity blackouts become more common than incidences of light, when university fees shoot beyond the reach of the majority, when prices skyrocket every day, when criminals are having field days in our locations and when things are falling apart because the centre can no longer hold, what do we do?

We turn to God. As if He were the one ticking the ballot papers. While turning to God is Ok, for our lamentations to be heard, we should ‘repent’ our choices, show remorse and begin electing visionary leaders not wolves in sheep’s clothing.

By the way, if those in opposition think the crown of shame is only President Mutharika’s, they have another think coming.

With this status, it matters less who is governing or in opposition because when you really look at Mutharika and his nepotism-cum-cronyism, and look at 90 percent of Dr Lazarus Chakwera’s inner ‘politburo’, doing the maths as to who is worse gives you a tie.

The contest ends all draw.

And nepotism and cronyism, Blue Orators, are why the plunderers of our wealth are never fired, let alone arrested because blood is thicker than water.

Again, nepotism/cronyism is why there are kangaroo-court suspensions and expulsions in our major opposition parties.

All these, Blue Orators, are not recipes for progress. They are sure-fire formulae for retaining the ‘trophy’ we have just earned.

It is not too late, we can turn the wheel. If we need stimulus, when His Excellency is in the USA for the UN General Assembly, he should fly to Minneapolis, pick up that trophy, and on return, mount it at the ‘beautified’ roundabout at Malawi Parliament.

It will serve as a reminder that contrary to HE’s misguided belief that ‘he is delivering’, what he has earned us is the trophy of idiots.

Shame on our civil society. Shame on the Professor and shame on the Leader of Opposition for condoning the fall of Malawi.

Shame on us.

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