No to deals, golden parachutes and revolving doors


Sincere apologies for repeating an old entry last week. Take note that I now have a mechanism in place to spare you from recycled pieces.

Talking of recycling, it is enough that the Malawi Congress Party (MCP) and UTM have embraced recycling cheap political harlots.

You and I should spurn such behaviour, and in no sphere of our lives should we sink so low as to wallow with unprincipled swine.


The other day, President Lazarus Chakwera braved Covid-19 to give late Mayi Dinala a befitting funeral for her unprecedented loyalty to her party.

The very next day, his cabinet was someplace else, welcoming political harlots whose nomadic behaviour late Mayi Dinala disliked.

Do you see the irony?


Other than decadence, what can one reap from political prostitution?

Anyway, let us leave prostitutes and their pimps to their own.

I spent the past weeks scrutinising the current leadership. I was not necessarily looking at what we are intended to see, no. I went behind the scenes.

You see Blues’ Orators, barely three months have elapsed from when we had a president we did not have.

For all practical purposes, we had a man in Sanjika. Occasionally he was coming out. He would deliver a speech here. Lay a foundation stone there. Regale us about red wine and prostitutes when he so wished. And state media, cabinet ministers and party hacks would address him as “His Excellency”.

But now that push has come to shove, there can only be one explanation from two possibilities.

Either he is incredibly good at playing the buffoon to hoodwink us, earn our sympathy and hence evade the punishment for criminal negligence.

Or, he is the most useless person whose only usefulness is serving as a horrible example.

Whichever is the case, the dude had little or no clue of the goings-on in Sanjika and in Malawi.

Now, since a man once bitten by a snake fears ropes eternally; I will never allow myself to be fooled like that again.

That is why I took it upon myself to snoop on developments and relationships on plot numbers one and two.

The good news is that the tag-team partnership between Chakwera and Vice President Saulos Chilima, this far, seems to be working well.

“This far” being the operative phrase, I would not celebrate too early.

If you rewind the clock back to the equivalent time in 2014, Mutharika and Chilima’s relationship was still intact. In fact, Chilima was then leading the all-important Reform Initiative.

Unknown to us, people were working hard to ram a wedge between Chilima and Mutharika. With time, they succeeded.

With history’s predisposition to repeat itself, all Malawians of good will should be watching out for subversive elements desirous of derailing the Chakwera-Chilima partnership.

You see, while we should not presume all State Residence workers to have Chisale’s genes, we should not – for a moment – believe that they are incapable of divisive thoughts and actions.

What is more, even as we question the efficacy of the so-called presidential advisors, we should never – based on the success the previous cohort had in undermining the Office of the Vice President – underestimate the havoc they can wreak.

Assuming they are reading this, they know what I am talking about. In their shoes, I would change course because Malawians are liking the Chakwera- Chilima partnership. The only people losing sleep over the Chakwera-Chilima partnership are those who want to turn Chakwera into “APM Version 2.0”.

Anyone who wanted another lame-duck president in Chakwera is – as we speak – livid with anger.

In Chakwera’s shoes, therefore, I would be wary of suggestions that I follow Mutharika’s disastrous footsteps in my relationship with the Vice President.

Let me repeat: this far, the Chakwera-Chilima partnership is working very well for Malawi. A few areas need sprucing up, e.g. decision-making speed; but overall things look good.

Check this: as Chakwera soothes impatient souls with his confident eloquence, Chilima’s hands-on change-or-be-changed approach when dealing with a clueless minister or a recalcitrant head of a statutory body are keeping the “Tonse” dream alive.

End this partnership and chaos, demonstrations and what have you will reign once more due to abuse of Account Number One.

While this might sound Greek to some and I might as well be “speaking in tongues” to others; those with ears are hearing.

On a sad note, this past week has ended without a single arrest of note.

Again, apart from Chisale’s incessant court appearances, there was no progress on significant cases.

Muluzi’s MK1.7 billion case, no progress. Mpingajira’s judge-bribing attempt, zero progress. The coal mine billions, nothing. Suspicious transactions and cash drain at MRA, nothing.

I could go on and on.

This loss of momentum is worrisome. We all witnessed the plunder of Government Account Number One and other public resources.

If investigations are stalling, what is causing the delay? Human resources?

Hire more!


The other day I mentioned Z Allan Ntata. Others are talking about John Gift Mwakhwawa etc. Get them!

Are prosecutors the bottleneck?

Hire private firms but for Christ sake wrap up the investigations, finalise the work in progress, initiate the new cases and lock up all low lives.

Tonse promised as much, and we expect this promise to be delivered.

Or is political will already waning?

This would be a pity.

While I am at it, let me put it in black and white that making a deal with Mutharika or his family or associates instead of prosecuting those that deserve prosecution will be frowned upon not only by donors but also by Malawians.

If this government is pondering betraying Malawians thus, it will surely rue the day it decided to go down this path.

Make no mistake about it; there should be no deals. No golden parachutes. And no revolving doors.

Please desist from taking Malawians for fools or get ready to face the music.

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