All over the world, regardless of geographical, physical, social and economic disposition, there comes a point when an individual has to face their reality. Reality, in this case, is taking responsibility for oneself. The one thing most of us have in common is that, for about the first two decades of our existence, we were somebody’s problem. We were our parents’ problem, our brother’s problem, our sister’s problem, our aunt’s or uncle’s problem, our grandmother’s problem, among other guardians.
During those two decades, most people never had to be mature, never had to worry about how the bills would be paid, where the food would come from, how to make it to the end of the month, how to keep or find a job, how to be a responsible adult and citizen and how to achieve one’s goals. For a long time, someone worried about most of these issues on their behalf.
It doesn’t help that life has become more expensive and is getting more expensive by the day. It also does not make it any better that this fact makes almost everything else challenging. The
cost of living is exorbitantly high. Come to think of it, even the cost of dying is high. Medical attention and a funeral bill usually render people bankrupt. Whichever way one turns, one finds challenges.
Whether one was raised in a poor set-up, medium-class set-up or well to do set-up, the fact remains that, in one’s psychological bearing, they were another person’s responsibility. After college and maybe the first job, the situation gradually begins to change as individuals are expected to take responsibility for themselves. Others find themselves in this situation sooner than others but, eventually, that transition takes place.
Many people will find this transition creeping up on them without fully being aware of it. They still expect someone else to take responsibility for the bills, the food, the big decisions, the social and professional guidance and it becomes a hard reality to realise that it is now your own burden to carry.
If one was used to a lavish lifestyle that their parents offered, they find it painful to consider leaving their parents’ life of comfort and sweating for their own prosperity from scratch. They find it embarrassing to start taking a bus to work when their dad’s driver used to drop them everywhere they desired. They find it hard to let go of the luxuries and only concentrate on the necessities. Reality strikes and it strikes very hard.
In the past, every time you had a little problem, you rushed to your ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’ or whoever played the guardian role to whine and expected a solution from them and the problem promptly disappeared without you having to directly deal with it. Later, you find yourself in a situation where you are expected to face your problems head-on and deal with them yourself as an adult. A reality that has seen mature people cry.
Regardless of what reality strikes, the challenge remains that of confronting that reality and adapting to transitioning times. When one fails to adapt to these changing realities, they can easily find themselves in situations that can prove to be catastrophic.
We have seen men and women in their 50s behaving like teenagers because their psychological bearing never adapted; they still behave like ‘somebody’s problem’ which can be embarrassing for those around them, especially people who look up to them.
Adapting to hard changing reality is like sailing against the wind; it requires strength and dedication but it is worth more getting to the shore than drowning in the middle of the ocean.
It is important to learn to swallow your pride, push your laziness aside, let go of dependency, and embrace your inner strength, humble yourselves, dedicate yourselves to hard work and self-actualisation. In this way, you build a life for yourself without being bitter about what you had that you do not have any more or grumbling about how hard life is.
The people you depended on were once dependent on others as well. The fact that they adapted is what made them dependable. So, swiftly following suit is the sensible way forward.
I rest my case.
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