Love is good; love keeps the world moving. Here is the reality check. Come to think about it – if your loved one had concentrated on your shortfalls than your unique aspects, surely you would not have had the opportunity to fall in love. Stretching further to the job that you are doing now, recall the rigorous interview you attended and how hopeless you became when some questions tumbled you down.
You became desolate and frustrated. You counted yourself out of the job that you had craved. Eventually, when you got an offer letter, you were surprised that you had been picked.
That is a testimony that reinforces that what the panel was very much interested in were your strengths and not weaknesses.
If the panel were to be weaknesses-oriented, no one would have been considered appropriate and good enough to be in the position you are serving now.
Also, come to think of the many times you failed in class. Your teacher or lecturer did not quarantine you to the dustbin of the unable-to-make it students.
He gave you a second and possibly third chance to improve and that made a difference. You eventually mastered what were previously insurmountable tasks to complete.
In your life, you have attained all the affection, all the friendship, the good job, business opportunities and other privileges because other people concentrated on your strengths than your weaknesses. You only need to change the side of the table where you are sitting to make a difference.
Whether in an organisation, family, love affair, business, or sports, look at the unique aspects of your colleagues. It is only when you cherish their strong points, nurture them and complement them that you become the catalyst to the realisation of their dreams.
The words of Madame Swetchin are right: “We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weaknesses need support. Strength needs it far more.” Rene Carayol brings in an interesting point of view when he says: “How much better and more inclusive would our world be, if we first saw the spikes that others possessed, before we dismissed them for their supposed limitations.”
We have to understand that, inherently, we have weaknesses. Sometimes they are not weaknesses only that we may not be performing some tasks to the measure of somebody’s expectations.
Take this note, and note this seriously, we often crave to be understood. We expect others to appreciate the excuses we give yet we are the first ones to be hard to accept the excuses of others.
It is imperative that, in terms of colleagues we have, we take time to notice their unique abilities and support them to utilise such attributes to the fullest.
Founder and former Chief Executive Officer of the Visa Credit Card Association Dee W. Hock advances a philosophy that we all must embrace.
Hock challenges: “Never hire or promote in your own image. It is foolish to replicate your strength and idiotic to replicate your weakness.
It is essential to employ, trust, trust and reward those whose perspective, ability, and judgement are radically different from yours. It is also rare, for it requires humility, tolerance and wisdom”
Next time you are angry at your children, loved ones, superiors, subordinates, labourers and many others over their professional or personal conduct, consider them silently speaking to you, “Sir, madam, see the diamond in me.”
In that dimension, you will have the conviction to look at their positives, reinforce them to do better and at the very same time minimise their weaknesses.
They can only be strong as you are strong. You are the one that can see the diamond in them and help in polishing it. One Chief Executive Dr Francis Chinjoka Gondwe said: “If other people had not given me a second chance, I would not have been at the level that I am now.”
Most people that are successful today have failed many times, most of them were written off the equation of success.
Some of them were even labelled educable mentally retarded as the case of Les Brown who went on to become one of the world’s most sought after motivational and leadership speakers.
Look at the academic history of some of the professors; you will notice that some of them were not even on the dean’s list in their academic times but their lecturers looked at the diamond in them, encouraged them and that made a difference. Success comes from failure after failure.
Failure is a medicated sponge that smoothes out our limitations.
The next person you are accusing of mercilessness is simply telling you in silence: “See the diamond in me”.