To Laz, SKC with love

By Madalitso Mussa
Dear Lazarus and Saulos. I have addressed you by your playground names because this is a friendly letter from a citizen and friend who really wishes you and the country well.
By the way, let me let you know that we are all alumni of the glorious Mtendere Secondary School, Box 25 Malirana, Dedza and the over-glorified Chancellor College.
The nostalgia of the cold and freezing days of Malirana and the fake infantile feel of megalomania of Chirunga have prompted me to write to you this letter with utmost love.
Dear Laz and SKC, I must confess that I am always awestruck by the way you immaculately articulate issues. You both have a tongue blessed with oratory skill but then… Well, I delved into pleasantries forgetting the prompt of my writing to you.
Dear Lazarus and Saulos, to put things in raw terms, you have let Malawians downs apart from the minions that form your cabal. Even those youths who painted themselves to prop you up and the women who wriggled their behinds are feeling betrayed.
They will not tell you of course as their voices cannot reach your ivory tower where you are sitting, dining and making merry.
In your political drunkenness and your desperate move to wow Malawians to vote for you, you told us a million lies and blindfolded us that you would lead us to Canaan.
But here we are just as the Ecclesiastical Israelites wishing to return to the much abhorred Egypt where you took us from. This is not the Canaan we were promised.
Dear Lazarus and SKC, under your reign, Malawians are bitter. The truth is life is unbearable. You have made us taste a percentage of life in hell. Malawi is worse than when your predecessors left it. It is sad that you seem nonchalant to all this.
To Laz, there is the other day you said you would fire anyone who underperforms. Let me give you a clue to who you must fire; fire that nonperforming guy at Plot Number One who wastes fuel in guzzling machines only to inspect out-of-season crops.
Fire that man who only performs when it comes to speeches either in borrowed tongues and deep vernacular.
To SKC, your silence is questionable. Is it perhaps you do not want to publicly expose the flaws of your boss? But they are glaring. Even babies in nappies are seeing it. You must know that when 2025 comes, not many will believe in your passionate campaigns. Is it really this national flag you promised to die for? Not at all. There must be another flag.
To Laz and SKC, again I will say you lied to us. We thought we would have a better Malawi of the proverbial milk and honey, but we have a Malawi of cows and bees and we are left to extract the products all by ourselves.
Commodity prices have skyrocketed on your watch. Talk of fuel, cooking oil, soap, bread, sugar and the like.
Dear Lazarus and SKC, you, one of the skaters you rolled on to win the election of 2020 was that you had ready solutions on doing away with the incessant blackouts which where the hallmark of the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) era. We were told that they will no longer be blackouts. Today, the blackouts are here again, painfully so.
Talking of blackouts, about a year ago, there came out a list of names mostly from the then ruling DPP and its associate Mulhako wa a Lhomwe members.
These were demonised that they had been abusing that ever-abused statutory corporation called Escom thus making it dysfunctional.
Will I be taken to be over-presumptive to say there are some of the Tonse Alliance ilk that are doing what their predecessors were doing? Darkness has indeed returned both in allegorical terms and reality.
Dear Lazarus and SKC, Malawi is bleeding. Mark my words. Those people, who starved themselves, marched in piercing cold days and scathing hot days while risking their lives are regretting.
Only those of your circle are happy. And they cannot tell you as they are chocked with State and Executive banquets. Malawians, dear Lazarus and SKC, are not happy. This is my letter to Laz and SKC, with Love.
Regards,
Teller of Tales