Childhoods stolen in the hands of caregivers meant to protect

By Brenda Kayo

March 15, 2025 marked a life-changing moment for Alice*, a three-year-old girl from Chinsapo in Lilongwe. The ordeal she endured is likely to haunt her for the rest of her life.

The day began normally, with the child’s mother carrying out household chores before leaving for Area 24 Market.

She left her daughter in the care of her 44-year-old father-in-law, the child’s grandfather, trusting that Alice was safe.

Hours later, the mother was plunged into shock and disbelief.

While she was at the market, the grandfather is said to have taken advantage of being left alone with the child and defiled her.

When the mother returned, the grandfather brought the girl back to her. She did not immediately suspect anything until Alice began complaining of pain around her private parts.

At first, the mother assumed it was ordinary pain. As the complaints persisted, however, she became increasingly concerned and took the child to Bwaila Hospital.

“I could not believe what I heard when they told me that Alice had been defiled both anally and in her private parts,” the mother says.

Medical reports confirmed that the girl had sustained severe injuries.

The greatest shock came when it was revealed that the suspect was her own father-in-law, the child’s grandfather, a man she had trusted completely to protect her daughter.

In her testimony, the young girl managed to say that her grandfather had used something like a stick to abuse her.

“The doctors tried to ask the child who had taken advantage of her. That is when she revealed that her grandfather removed her trousers and pants and used something like a stick to abuse her,” the mother says.

She adds that the grandfather had threatened the child not to tell anyone what had happened.

The mother wept as she spoke about her daughter.

“What he has done to my child is not good at all. What he has done will haunt her forever. I can imagine how traumatised my child was on that day. I cannot imagine how she endured the pain. Her life will never be the same again,” she says.

The girl is among many children who have gone through such experiences. Many girls, some now adults, continue to live with

trauma caused by abuse committed by men.

Psychologist Eric Omar says mental health disorders or illnesses can contribute to acts of sexual abuse.

Omar further explains that some men may suffer from mental illnesses that affect their thinking, emotional stability and behaviour, leading them to commit such acts.

In some cases, he says, emotionally and cognitively vulnerable men may use children as substitutes for unavailable adult partners.

According to the psychologist, while abusing the child, they imagine a different adult female figure.

Omar adds that some men abuse young children because they offer no resistance, fulfilling the perpetrator’s desire for control and dominance.

In certain contexts, he says, such acts may also be linked to rituals believed to bring wealth.

“Support and treatment exist for such men. The main intervention is psychotherapy. Medication is also available to reduce sex drive by lowering testosterone levels.

However, all these interventions depend on the individual acknowledging that there is a problem and seeking help,” Omar says.

According to Malawi Police Service deputy national spokesperson Alfred Chimthere, child sexual abuse remains a serious concern, with many cases going unreported due to fear, stigma and lack of support structures.

Chimthere says the situation is especially complex when the perpetrator is a family member or someone in a position of trust, as the resulting trauma is often severe and long-lasting.

He further states that such cases occur because children are generally vulnerable and may lack proper guardianship. In many instances, the perpetrators are the very people meant to protect them.

As a result, many vict ims suffer in silence, discouraged by fear, stigma and inadequate support systems.

Chimthere says the police recorded 371 cases of defilement in 2025, compared to 386 cases in 2024 and 333 cases in 2023.

“The cases are there and on average, we register more than 300 cases per year. This is quite worrying. Children need to be protected and abusing them in this way is unacceptable,” he laments.

He says to combat child abuse, the police are taking a proactive approach by raising awareness of child rights through community policing initiatives that educate communities on child protection and abuse prevention.

The police have also introduced child protection desks focused on safeguarding children across the country and ensuring that perpetrators are brought to justice.

The Malawi Demographic and Health Survey of 2015 reports that one in five children aged one to 14 has experienced sexual violence.

Minister of Gender, Disability, Children and Social Welfare Mary Navicha says Malawi has laws in place to protect children from sexual abuse, including the Child Care, Protection and Justice Act of 2012.

Navicha adds that the country also has a Child Rights Policy aimed at protecting children from abuse, exploitation and violence.

Key aspects of the policy include protection from physical emotional and sexual abuse, the right to education and healthcare, participation in decisions that affect them and protection from child labour and exploitation.

Navicha says these legal frameworks are vital for deterring offenders and ensuring justice for victims.

However, she admits that their effectiveness depends on proper implementation and the availability of support systems.

“Malawi has good policies in place. What remains is enforcement and awareness. Sexual abuse is not something we can ignore. We need to act,” Navicha says.

Social welfare activist Nancy Magwaya, who is handling Alice’s case, says the incident is a stark reminder of the violation of children’s rights and the betrayal of trust meant to protect them.

Magwaya says although the case is in court, conclusion has not yet arrived, prolonging the suffering of the child and her family.

She adds that the delay highlights challenges within the legal process and what she calls the urgent need for timely justice.

“We are wondering why the court is delaying the judgement. By doing so, it is also infringing on the child’s rights because she may forget her testimony. The incident happened in March,” Magwaya says.

She insists that preventing sexual abuse requires a multifaceted approach that includes education on boundaries, consent and healthy relationships.

Magwaya adds that communities, schools and families all have a role to play in teaching children about their rights and how to seek help when those rights are violated.

She adds that survivors need strong support from families, communities and professional services. Counselling, legal assistance and medical care are essential in helping victims heal, the activist says.