Every time a case of rape or defilement makes headlines, a tired and dangerous excuse resurfaces: ‘It was because of how she dressed.’
It is an argument so hollow that it collapses under the slightest scrutiny; yet it continues to echo in our communities, classrooms and even among those entrusted with guiding our children.
Let us state this plainly. There is no justification for rape or defilement. None.
If clothing truly caused rape, then the world would be drowning in cases beyond imagination.
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Women and girls dress in countless ways at school, in town, at work and at church, across cultures and climates.
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Yet sexual violence persists regardless of what victims wear. Babies are raped. Elderly women are assaulted. Boys are violated. Even livestock are abused. Are we to argue that they were “provocatively dressed”?
Sexual violence is not triggered by fabric. It is driven by power, control and a failure of self-restraint.
Recently, a community day secondary school reported six dropouts due to pregnancy. Instead of confronting the deeper issues at play, the blame was swiftly placed on the girls’ miniskirts.
Even more troubling, this claim reportedly came from a female head teacher, a woman who likely is, or will be, a mother to daughters.
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That line of thinking is not only disappointing. It is dangerous. When authority figures shift blame onto girls’ clothing, they silently absolve boys and men of responsibility.
They send a message that male desire is uncontrollable, that boys are powerless against a hemline.
But men do not walk around “charged” beyond control. Sexual arousal is not an accident of sight; it is a process governed by choice and discipline.
Anyone under 18 is a minor. Minors cannot legally consent because they lack the maturity to make sound judgement. That vulnerability is precisely why society must protect them, not shame them.
Talk about peer pressure? Yes, peer pressure exists. Young people experiment. Some relationships form between classmates of the same age, often fuelled by curiosity and misinformation.
That is why comprehensive life skills education is essential, and it should begin at home. Students must understand not only the biological consequences of early sexual activity, but also the emotional and psychological impact.
Parents and guardians must rise to the occasion. Conversations about sex, consent, respect and responsibility cannot be left to whispers or assumptions. Silence creates space for predators.
Schools have policies on uniforms, and administrators have every right to enforce them. But enforcing dress codes is not the same as excusing sexual misconduct.
Proper dressing can be encouraged without weaponising it against girls when pregnancies occur or when things go wrong. Accountability must be shared, especially by boys and men.
Boys must be taught self-control and respect. They must learn to see girls as equals, as sisters and as human beings deserving dignity, not as opportunities. Men must ask themselves a simple question: what if this were my daughter?
We cannot build a just society while blaming victims for crimes committed against them. The solution is not longer skirts or covering up.
It is stronger values. It is better parenting. It is honest education. It is teaching boys that masculinity is defined by discipline and respect, not entitlement.
We can, and must, do better.
The author is a psychosocial counsellor.
